User blog comment:Peony Laminar/Peony Laminar/@comment-From the South/@comment-1884658-20100418173458

This is good. At one point after the battle you described Cinnabar as being an effective nusiance. It sounded a little redundant when Major Peony described him the same way, so you may want to change that.

I really like the way you leave the reader in suspense. It makes you desperately want to read more.

So once again, this is really good and KIC.