User blog comment:Blueeyes Lagoonfur/The Lagoonfur Chronicles: Story 1, the kingdom of marshes/@comment-1738724-20100627094601

Nice start, few mistakes though.

He felt like he was going to die of ecsaustion any minute now, but he continued. Should be exhaustion.

He laughed up at his friend, Sirius, who was thinking ove if he was going to jump in etc. Should be over.

And also, when someone speaks press enter twice to make a new paragraph. If its the same person speaking, then you don't have to. Does Sirius not like water? That's a first...I had a feeling that Blueeyes was gonna do that. KIU!(KIU means Keep it up and KIC means Keep it coming)