User blog comment:Greenfield the Warrior/The Great War/@comment-7662967-20141020024734

You've got an excellent plot going here, and I can't wait to see what happens! You have an amazing talent for describing food, much better then me :P I like how you describe the vermin fortress, I can imagine exactly what it looks like. All in all this is very good, and it has great potential!

The biggest problem I see is not in the writing at all, but in your format. (That's totally fine, I had the same problem when I started, because wiki formatting is a little odd at first)

It's a good idea to make a new paragraph every time someone talks, or it makes the dialog hard to read.

Also, if those boxes that keep you from seeing the words are irritating to you, simply make sure there are no spaces between the margin and the beginning your sentence.

You can look at my story The Warrior's Beginning for format ideas, because I actually have that one the way I want it. :) (just please don't edit it)

Other then that, this is awesome! Can't wait for the next update! :D

Sa y n a  High Queen of   Mos sfl ow er  02:47, October 20, 2014 (UTC)