User blog:Austin Longstream/A Story from the Last Survivor of Cluny's Army.

And now, I must tell my story, of how the AWFUL Redwallers cruelly killed Cluny.

Riptooth the rat sat backwards on the wooden chair with his children.

"So...anyway...Mr. Cluny my boss was goin to redwall. He was gonna take all that good stuff, and do what normal conquerer guys do.

"SKULLFACE! JUMP ON THE HORSE AND BITE IT SO IT GETS GOIN!"

"But it might bite me back!"

"Mutiny, insubordination! By the teeth of hell, I'll flay you into mangy dollrags!"

"No more! Don't whip me, Chief. Look, I'm goin to do it!"

So anyway, Skullface (he was kinda ugly) jumped on the horse and got killed. I was gonna go take his sword, but then we left. Cluny yelled something back at em.

"TELL THE DEVIL CLUNY SENT YOU SKULLFACE!"

Note: No, in the book Cluny doesn't scream every sentence. I just like him that way.

So then, after that, kids, we kept going. However, Cluny was an awful driver and crashed us. Then he screamed something about skittles.

"Redtooth! Darkclaw! Report to me or I'll have your skulls for skittles!"

Then, they told us that Three-Leg (he had a pretty stupid name) and Scratch (wasn't very smart) were dead, no problem.

So then, we like, made our camp in this big church.

For some reason that night, Cluny was screaming in his sleep. Don't ask me why, kids.

Then we recruited stinky stoats (I hate stoats), freaky ferrets (I don't like ferrets either) and other soldiers. Cluny did his normal recruiting procedure.

Okay kids, go do something else. Go bite the neighbors. Go on! Cheesenibbler, GO! STOP HANGING ON MY LEG!

Okay, so you're back. You bit the neighbors and they chased you with sticks? Sounds interesting.

Then, we marched up to the big abbey. Boy, it was big with all these walls and stuff. Yeah.

After that, Cluny went inside and started to yell at their "abbot" person.

When he was gone, I gambled with me mates and won another church iron spike. Worthless.

We also beat up this hedgehog cause we all ganged up on him and Cluny sent his creepy Shadow person to get the ugly picture in there.

It was of some big mouse with a sword. Man, that mouse looked SCARY. E' was carryin around this big sword. Luckily, he was dead by the time we got there.

Enyway, Shadow died, yeah. Not a problem. After that though, this mean rabbit stole it from Cluny and he threw a hissy fit. Of course, nobody ever says that to Cluny's face or they died.

More coming soon. I'm reading redwall and putting it from a rat's view.

Tell me what ya think!