User blog:Burglebuber/Burglebuber Sixclaw: A Tale of Redwall

Chapter One: Burglebuber Sixclaw

Burglebuber Sixclaw walked threw the meadow. He was having problems getting to Mossflower Woods. His horde, dubbed the "Blood Horde", were lagging and complaining. "Can't we stop here chief?" asked a tired Wormer.

"No you can't lazyskull" Replied Burglebuber with a snap.

"But chief I'm tired!" Said an angry Chickenscale.

"SHUT UP OR I'LL HAVE YOUR GIZZARDS FOR LUNCH!!!!!!!!!" Yelled Burglebuber. There was immediate silence. The Blood Horde found a cliff. On the top off the cliff was a desert. "We're climbing this cliff." Said Burglebuber.

"But..." started Tailflank.

"SILENCE!!!" Interrupted Burglebuber. The horde started to climb. Burglebuber was the first to reach the top. Darksoul the Gypsy was next. After that came Wedgenose. Everyone else came next.

"This must be the Great South Cliffs." Stated Dampear, Burglebuber's second in command.

"Of course it is fool." Said Burglebuber "Redwall's not far off. We'll take refuge there. It's bound to be better than that ruined old abbey Loamhedge."

"Aye chief." Agreed Greenhound. In the distance the Blood Horde could see two rocks. They looked like a Badger and a Bell.

"We'll camp there." Said Burglebuber pointing. The Blood Horde camped at the rocks.

"Hey look!" Said Dampear pointing "Its a HUGE tree!"

"Aye. I've heard of slaver foxes coming this way. If any come we'll steal the slaves." Said Burglebuber

"Aye Chief" agreed Halfwhisker.

"I've heard of a story were that tree's called a "lord"." Said Wormrigg.

"Oh Shut up. NOW!!!!!" Shouted Burglebuber.

Chapter Two: The Feast

Abbess Silicon was busy. She had to supervise a feast. Friar Vinny had just finished a huge cake that he dubbed "The Red Shrimp Silicon de la Abbess Cake". He was now working on preparing the salads. Lightning Harestrike, a Harebabe, was hopping around the feet of Sister Maria.

"Jolly old cake, wot, wot." Said Boldflash the Sleek, Lightning's father.

"Oh go away you great nuisance" said Maria at Lightning. Lightning sat down and started bawling.

"There, there youngin" said Boldflash, who then shot a glare at Maria. Boldflash stuck his finger in the cake and ran off licking it. The Redwallers where having a wonderful time. That is, except Sister Maria, who NEVER had fun. Brother Gerald was setting the tables. Brother Jake was fishing with Young Parry, a dormouse. Old Parry was taking a nap, which is what he'd been doing for three days. The Moles were having fun in the courtyard waiting for the great feast to begin.

"Yer be-in a baddun Yerrgun I-ah be-in a guddun. Yu-un takers a Ferrgin an Ole Ruffs. Alla be-in a takers Guddar and a Launakup. Wean a givum Owd Arry." Said Druffey the Foremole. The seemed to be playing bad guys vs. good guys. Otter Waterjohn was taking care of the dubbing with Badgermum Brockstripe.

Chapter Three: Drake Westlake

Drake Westlake, King of Duck Swampmud, Lord over all ducks, was sitting atop his nest. His wife, Weedbill, was nagging him as usual. Drake wanted to conquer more land. He could leave Pondgreen in charge of Duck Swampmud when he's gone. If he abandoned Duck Swampmud then the snakes, eels, toads, and newts would take over. He hates snakes, eels, toads, and newts. Drake set off with his army and left Pondgreen and 20 Mallards in charge of Duck Swampmud. The rest of the Mallards, and Ruddy Ducks, 50 in total, went questing with Drake. Little did Drake know that Pondgreen was untrustworthy. He took over Duck Swampmud as soon as Drake was out of sight. He let newts, toads, snakes, and eels in. Fruitskin, the newt leader, made a truce with Pondgreen. Slimetouch the eel Leader made a parley. Wartbeat the toad leader made a truce too. Hadiesscale, the adder snake leader, however, did not. He did not move into Duck Swampmud. He lurked near it in his burrow. Waiting. Waiting.

Chapter Four: Blackrobes

When the Blood Horde woke up there were 10 Blackrobe Rats holding daggers two the horde's throat. "What do you want?" Asked Burglebuber.

"We want slaves to build a city called Malkariss back. It collapsed when a slaver fox by the name of Slagar the Cruel came. Malkariss the rat died. We along with some slaves and woodlanders are the only survivors. We want to rebuild the kingdom." Answered all of the Blackrobes at once. A crumpled old one came forward.

"I am Nizduke, voice of the host. I am the leader. I will become the king of our underground kingdom when it's build."

"Well. We are just passing travelers with NO SLAVES." Stated Burglebuber firmly.

"CHARGE!!!!!!" Shouted Nizduke. All the rats charged. All 500 of the blood horde woke up then. Darksoul climbed to the top of the badger rock and shouted hexs and curses at the blackrobes. Burglebuber grabbed two blackrobes and killed them with his six clawed paw. Scarear changed one of the blackrobe rats' name to scarface. Chickenscale stabbed two blackrobes with his spear. Nizduke saw that his troops were losing so he tried to slip off in the chaos. Burglebuber threw his poisoned knife at Nizduke. Nizduke screamed and fell, never to rule an underground kingdom.

Chapter Five: Postponed

Brother Bernard was on the lookout. He saw a group of beasts enter Mossflower. The had weapons. Bernard notified Brockstripe. She decided to postpone the feast until the travelers got here. Abbess Silicon agreed. Boldflash did not. He wanted to eat. Sister Maria didn't agree or disagree. "By nightfall the travelers would be here" said Sister Rose "The feast will only have to be postponed one night". To this every redwaller agreed. Baby Ederbeis started to sing.

"A POPS A POP A THING IDY BOP. A GOPS A DOP WITH SING IDY STOP. LALA LALA LALALALALA HOPPITY HOP LA DOP DOP DOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!" Ederbeis sang aloud. Mrs. Ederflower, Ederbeis' mother, scooped up Ederbeis and hushed him with a binky.

Chapter Six: Here at last

The Blood Hordebeasts had won the battle. They slew every blackrobe. The Blood Horde had reached Mossflower. They were now a day's journey from Redwall. By Nightfall they were at Redwall. They got a warm greeting. They met Abbess Silicon, Sister Maria, Friar Vinny, Boldflash, Otter Waterjohn, Badgermum Brockstripe, Druffey the Foremole, Young Parry, Old Parry, Ole Ruffs the Mole, Ferrgin the Mole, Yerrgun and Gaddar the Mole Brothers, Luanakup the Molemaid, Brother Gerald, Brother Jake, Brother Bernard, The Dibbuns, and Sister Rose. The Redwallers met Burglebuber Sixclaw, Darksoul the Gypsy, Wedgenose, Chickenscale, Wormer, Halfwhisker, Greenhound, Dampear, Wormrigg, Cheesebane, Badeye, Fangoe, Snakesnout, and more. They made a truce and the Blood Horde was allowed to reside at Redwall.

Chapter Seven: Gropulopolous

Deep inside a cave, deep inside a far away land called "Oakwoods", deep inside the darkness, a bunch of black rats with black cloaks and black undershirts and black hoods with red eyes were forging weapons. They call themselves "Shadow Rats". They are dark and shadowy and make good spies. Their leader, Gropulopolous, has a darker cloak than the rest and he has a black crown. They were off to Redwall. Off to conquer it. They were the very face of evil. When a vermin dies that becomes a Shadow Rat or they go to Dark Forest. Tsarmina, Cluny, Swartt Sixclaw, Badrang, Slagar, Malkariss, Ripfang, Captain Zigu, and Warpclaw all became Shadow Rats. They all hate redwallers. They are coming. BEWARE THE SHADOW RATS. They came from a place called: "The Realm of Oakwoods".

Chapter Eight: Trouble on the skies

Drake Westlake was having problems with his conquest. A large wind was building up. There was lightning. Mudfeather had been struck by it. Weedbill had singed tail feathers, Swampbeak had a cut on his left leg, and Webtail was cowering behind Drake Westlake. Then the Duck Colony spotted a place to conquer. IT WAS A HUGE RED BUILDING!

"Look. A Great Place t-t-to conquer. QUACK!" Shouted Drake. Weedbill was not to sure.

"They might ha-ha-have weapons sire. QUACK!" She nagged.

"OH BE Q-Q-Q-QUIET EMPTY HEAD! QUACK!" Shouted Drake. The ducks flew down to River Moss and camped there.

Chapter Nine: Visitors

The Redwallers enjoyed the visitors. They were kind enough. They seemed to have awful table manners though. They acted as good sentries. The also fought well. The Redwall forces were stronger now. They could trust them well enough. The only redwaller that didn't like one of the Blood Hordebeasts was Lightning Harestrike. He didn't like Burglebuber. He was scared of him and he didn't trust him. Burglebuber was especially nice to Abbess Silicon. That troubled Lightning. Lightning decided to spy on Burglebuber. He hid in bushes and watched. Burglebuber was heading for Garrel Spineback's wine cellars. Garrel was a hedgehog. Lightning followed Burglebuber.

Chapter Ten: Counsel of Chieftains

Burglebuber wasn't really friends with the abbey. He just wanted safety and refuge. He wanted to lead the abbey. He decided to hold a meeting in the cellars. His idea was that the abbey would be shared by a counsel of chieftains, or C.A.C. He would be a chieftain, Formole would be a chieftain, Boldflash would be one, and so would, Otter Waterjohn and Queen Kelly of the Squirrels and Abbess Silicon. Their captains would be Burglebuber's horde captains and Friar Vinny, Sister Rose, The Brothers, Formole's crew captains, Otter Waterjohn's crew captains, Boldflash's Long Patrol Offiers, and Queen Kelly of the Squirrels's archer captains. The idea was immediately accepted.

Chapter Eleven: Gropulopolous in Mossflower 

The Shadow Rats made good time getting to Redwall. The didn't need rest and they knew just were Redwall was. They didn't stop at night and they didn't need food or water. The only thing that can kill them is a weapon. They were close do Mossflower now. They found a bunch of camping ducks with bad tempers. They walked right past them. They stopped in the Commonlands and plotted the attack there. They did not know that a bunch of weasels, ferrets, stoats, rats, and foxes could easily see them and the ducks and were reporting to the Counsel of Cheiftans.

Chapter Twelve: Quack Attack!!!

The Duck Colony had their scheme. They would send Pondtail and his mallards to attack the south walls. Webtail would attack the northern side. Swampbeak would attack the gates. Greenfeather would attack the back. Drake Westlake, Weedbill and his mallards would attack the top and dive-bomb into the abbey. But the Redwallers surprised the ducks. They attacked the ducks at the same time the ducks attacked them. The Redwallers were ready before the ducks attacked. The Redwallers had Darksoul the Gypsy and her gang to thank for that. She saw the ducks at night along with the Shadow Rats. The ducks suffered heavy casualties. Badgermum Brockstripe killed Greenfeather. The Ducks were losing.

"RETREAT!!!! QUACK!!! RUN AWAY!!!!!" Shouted Drake Westlake. The last duck out of Redwall was Weedbill. Brockstripe her tail. She could fly no further. The angry badgermum pulled Weedbill back and started punching her. She screamed to her husband. It was too late. Brockstripe beat her to death and threw the body in the River Moss. Drake was glad to be rid of his nagging wife. "Serves her r-r-right. QUACK!!" He said.

Chapter Thirteen: Let the Feasting Begin!

The Redwallers had won the battle against the ducks. They held their feast after the battle. Lightning was convinced now that Burglebuber was not bad. Boldflash ate the most. "Wheres the Jolly old cake man? hey? hey? wot." Said Boldflash. Then he stuffed his face.

"Oh Stomach on legs. HAHAHAHAHAHA" Said Sister Rose. Queen Kelly of the Squirrels ate nuts. She had her head buried in a bowl of nets.

"MMMMNNHNHHHPYGIGDBA" She said with her mouth full. The Dibbuns were all eating candied chestnuts. Sister Maria was trying to make the whole event sour. The festivities were glorious until...

Chapter Fourteen: Attack of the Shadows 

During the feast the shadow rats were sneaking up on the Redwallers. They easily scaled the walls. When they were all on the battlements the shouted "CHARGE!!!!" All the Redwallers abandoned the Great Hall and jumped into battle. Queen Kelly climbed the towers and had her archers shooting the rats from the top of Redwall. Otter Waterjohn's crew was using slings to pick of the rats.

The long patrol shouted "GIVE EM BLOOD N VINEGAR!!!!!!" And then they charged. The jumped around saying "wot. wot." and slaying the rats.

Brockstripe shouted "EULALIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And trampled the rats. She was a born fighter. The battle was in favor of the Redwallers

"TREETOPS AND TIMBER!!!!!" Shouted Queen Kelly.

The Rats had to run away. Ran into the ditch outside the abbey. The decided to camp just out of weapon range.

Chapter Fifteen: Arch Rivals

Burglebuber knew one of the rats. The rat he knew was Swartt Sixclaw in shadow version, Burglebuber's great uncle. He hated him. Burglebuber was going to personally kill Swartt. He made sure the counsel of chieftains knew that. He wanted to go out looking for Swartt. He decided to wait for them to attack. Abbess Silicon asked Burglebuber to relay all of the casualties.

"Bentfur the Squirrel lost his left thumb, Paddle the Otter lost a foot, Otter Waterjohn himself lost an ear, Wormrigg Rat was slain, Badgermum Brockstripe got a few dagger cuts, Tallears the Hare lost an eye, and Jumpthudd the Hare lost the top of his left ear." Answered Burglebuber.

"Uh huh". Said Abbess Silicon. I'll get Doctor Westwiles to work on those hurts.

Chapter Sixteen: Burglebuber's Revenge

The rats were regrouping. Before long they had launched another attack. Jumpthudd found the guy that had hurt his ear. Jumpthudd kick him in his nuts then he turned him inside out. "Serves the blighter right old chap. wot." He said. Then Swartt Sixclaw appeared. Burglebuber launched himself at him. Swartt dodged. Swartt ran up the stairs to the battlements. Burglebuber chased him clutching a poisoned dagger. Swartt stood on the the edge of the wall. He threw a dagger at Burglebuber. Burglebuber dogged nimbly and threw his. It caught Swartt right in the forehead and Swartt fell off the wall. He landed on the ground, dead as a doornail. Gropulopolous saw Swartt fall and decided to fall back.

Chapter Seventeen: The Realm of Oakwoods

The rats halted the fighting. They were going to have a meeting. "LEAVE US ALONE BEETLEBRAINS!!!" Shouted Boldflash.

"Vait. Det Me Dalk." Said Gropulopolous. "I vant thor abbeath. Thu not give meth thor abbeath. Ith not taketh thor abbeath. Vee make thruce.?" He said with an accent.

"Ok." Said Abbess Silicon.

"Wait." Said Burglebuber. "How can I trust you?"

"Aha hahahaha" Said Gropulopolous. "Thou canth. HAHAHAHAHAAA AHA."

"URGH!!!!!! YOU SNIVLIN LIL MONSTER!!!!" Shouted Burglebuber. "I WILL DESTROY ALL OF YOU!!!!"

"Thou Canth. Thou ave to desthroy thee vealm of oakvoods." Said Gropulopolous. Then every Shadow rat shot a glare at their leader.

"Then I find this "Realm of Oakwoods"." Said Burglebuber. Along with my horde.

Gropulopolous's face went blank.

Chapter Eighteen: The Ducks' Last Visit To Redwall

Drake Westlake didn't grieve his wife's death at all. He didn't even like his wife. Drake knew of the rats trying to take the abbey so he decided it was now or never. He saw a lot of the Redwallers leave. They were heading towards a dark forest he had passed on his journey to Mossflower. He shouted "ATTACK!!!!" And without any warning or planning the ducks randomly swarmed the abbey. The Redwallers were stunned for a second but then they came to their senses an fought. Queen Kelly slew 6 ducks at once with a huge swipe of her longsword. Brockstripe slew Webtail. She then killed a whole regiment of ducks with a cord and rock. Otter Waterjohn killed a score of ducks with a slingshot and his crew's slingshots. Pretty soon Drake was the only duck left. Drake flew off as fast as he could toward Duck Swampmud. He didn't know Pondgreen had taken it over.

Chapter Nineteen: Oakwood

Burglebuber departed with his horde and some gear. They made good time because pure rage and fury pushed Burglebuber onward. They came to a swampy marsh. It had no life at all. "Greenhound!" Summoned Burglebuber.

"Yes Chief?" Greenhound replied.

"Step into that swamp. If you sink then ill know not to go in. If you don't then ill trudge right through the marsh, and if you don't move now ill kill you." Said Burglebuber dangerously calm. Greenhound jumped in. He started sinking.

"HELP CHIEF!!!! HELP!!!" He panicked.

"No help for you bumblebrain." Said Burglebuber smugly. Greenhound struggled and twisted and turned. He sunk all the way past his head. He never came back out of that swamp. Burglebuber traveled around the swamp. He came across a dark and spooky forest. He then smiled, showing his needle-like teeth.

Chapter Twenty: Return of Drake Westlake

Drake flew to Duck Swampmud. He found a bunch of slimy toads, annoying newts, sneaky eels, and slithering snakes. HE WAS FURIOUS!!!!! He found Pondgreen and a bunch of other traitor mallards. Then Hadiesscale's mind said "NOW". His wait was over. He shot out of his burrow. He ATTACKED!!!! The newts attacked the adder but to no avail. It ate them all including Fruitskin, their leader. The toads took up their tridents and attacked! They were all swallowed alive, including Wartbeat the toad king. The eels were next. They were all eaten too. Their leader, Slimetouch. Pondgreen was terrified. His king, Drake Westlake was pushing him down into the swamp. He was sinking deeper and deeper! Hadiesscale was full now and moved southwards towards mossflower. Pondgreen sunk into the bottom of the swamp, never to come back out. Drake was satisfied and he moved west. He was never seen again.

Chapter Twenty One: Abyss

The Blood Horde found a cave in Oakwoods. It had a staff inside. Burglebuber held the staff. It made a noise. He held it high and pointed at the sun. A huge black hole appeared and it sucked Chickenscale inside. "Well he's never coming back out." Thought Burglebuber at the sight of Chickenscale flying inside screaming. He decided to go back to Redwall with the staff. He was sure it would destroy the evil shadows. He found a ship near the back of the cave being tied off. His horde boarded it and they cut the line. The ship sailed off to Mossflower. It was called the Shadow Monarch. They renamed it The Ravenous Gullbird. It sailed to Mossflower in less than a day. Burglebuber put on a smug smile.

Chapter Twenty Two: The Guerrilla Union of Riverside Shrews In Mossflower

The Shadow Rats were confident that Burglebuber would never return. They didn't know that Burglebuber was coming at that very moment. Ravenous Gullbird hit some rocks 30 miles away from the destination. They started sinking. Just as the ship was going under they heard a voice.

"Ahoy!" It said.

"Ahoy!" Responded Wedgenose, glad to have help.

"I am Log-a-Log Siberd! Leader of the Guerrilla Union of Riverside Shrews in Mossflower" Said the voice.

"I am Burglebuber Sixclaw leader of the Blood Horde!" Said Burglebuber happily.

"We'll take you aboard our canoes and sail you back to shore". Said Log-a-Log.

"Ok Thanks!!!!!!!" Said all of the Blood Horde at once, including Burglebuber. When the Blood Horde and the GUORSIM were on the shore Burglebuber told the shrews his story. The shrews agreed to take the hordebeasts to Redwall. As they walked they heard a snake hissing. Log-a-Log and Burglebuber peered through the bushes. They saw Hadiesscale. He was fat and heavy. Burglebuber picked up a poisoned dagger. He threw it. It caught the snake on the back of the head. Then the snake stopped moving and hissing. His eyes went dim. He was dead. Then Redwall appeared through the bushes. The Guorsim and Blood Horde both entered. The shrews made an alliance with Redwall and agreed to stay there and help in a fight.

Chapter Twenty Three: The End Of The Shadows

The Shadows were summoned to Redwall.

Burglebuber said " Shadow Rats!!! Fight for their lives in 3, 2, 1, NOW!!!!!!!" Burglebuber pointed the staff at the sun and the black hole appeared. Bentfur the Squirrel avenged his thumb with the heads of 20 rats. Queen Kelly's archers worked their magic. Darksoul the Gypsy said

"Oh Dark Forces! Drain the lives of Shadow Rats! Doom upon those rats in dark cloaks!" Then Darksoul climbed to the battlements and stood up pointing to the sky shouting her hexes. A sneaky Shadow rat named Gizzle shot Darksoul. She fell screaming and died. Brockstripe then killed Gizzle with her fists. The Abyss sucked in any creature who got near it. Scarclaw learned that the hard way. So did many rats. After a few hours passed the rats were all dead except Gropulopolous.

Gropulopolous said, "Merthy! Pleath! Merthy!!!" Then the abyss sucked him in too.

Chapter Twenty Four: Victory