User blog comment:High Queen Ziral/Deathclaw Of Ice And Snow/@comment-3462718-20111113182015

Good start! :D Keep it coming! One suggestion: you might want to make sure you pick a tense and stay with it. You switch from past tense (she was, he did, they were, etc) to present tense (She is, he does, they are, etc.) a couple times, and it makes it a tad hard to follow.