User blog comment:Shieldmaiden/The Unsung/@comment-988934-20091107061722

Of course, we'll always be here.

Wow, just pure excellence, that intro already has me reading intently between the lines, trying to glance for hints. That shows how much you've improved, all within a year. It's very noticeable and a pleasure to read.

Just a few things can be improved, mostly in the description. Also, now that your writing skills are at this level, I'm going to inspect your work even closer(So don't kill me if I sound nit-picky xD).

Where is she standing? <--Self Explanatory

Try, if possible, to connect the really short sentences or expand them. It gets really odd when the reader has to halt for a period, a pause by comma is fine, but a period just stops the sentence.

''She stood, her hood and cloak, black as night, billowing around her in the strong headwind, with her fur ruffling along, reflecting the same emotionless color.

Remember, this is just an example of how I would write it, it's all up to you if you want to/not use it, or modify it. My corrections may not always be the correct form.

Also, saying half-ring is awkward on the tongue, half a ring sounds much more fluid.

When describing Silvestra eyes, you mentioned a variety of colors, yet at the end, all you just say dark. Its a bit anti-climatic considering the elaborate description you gave her. What type of dark is it? A dark shade of green, violet, what? You said grey, but then also mentioned it was a base for other colors to shine.

In the third to last sentence of the intro, I don't get what you mean when you say cleave. Cleave means to chop or swing in a heavy manner,

So...let them all try to chop at Silvestra from all she worked for?

I think a better word would be to rip her, (the long name), away from all she worked so hard to gain.

The chuckle is the last thing I'm going to say about the into, what type of chuckle was it? Was it a evil, extended chuckle, a short loud burst, a shaking building up to a laugh kind of thing, which is it?