User blog comment:Layla Goldeneyes/Golden Darkness/@comment-1298206-20100905002404

Woah! You never told me you wrote more! Update me please!

The first sentence of Chapter 1 is somewhat hard to understand.. I like how you used words from different languages for character names! That's what I'll do sometimes, but Im like the names you came up with a little more. Instead of saying "famous" when describing the port, perhaps "infamous" would be more fitting.

I think "on-board" and "row boat" both should be a single word. I believe "Baba" is Turkish for "Father". Where did you go to find out what these words mean in these foreign languages? I'm almost certain that "Well, you tell him that he's more than welcomed to stay here." should be "Well, you tell him that he's more than welcome to stay here."

"Haled" should be "hauled". When you said "the beasts on the docks let there eyes float to the vessel as a blanket of fear covered everybeast there". you used the first "there" should be "their" because it is possessive. "Frighting" should be "frightening".

Korvi's senses are about as keen as Daredevil's senses...scary O.o "Finale" should be "final". Overall, you have a few grammar problems, but so do I! I like it!