User blog comment:Akash.B/User blog:Akash.B/@comment-The Forbidden Tale/@comment-1808183-20100302220734

Here are some grammitical things. 1st paragraph, 4th sentencte "...or it seemed..." Maybe "...or so it seemed...". 4th paragraph, Haze is saying, "... that includes getting free from this, monster..." I don't know if you wanted it to be like she was thinking of a word to describe him with or not, but if you were it could be... "this... this, monster!" But if you didn't mean it to be that way, the comma shouldn't be there. These were the only things I saw. I agree with Umrag; that was very foolish. Wow, you really do speak French! (Not that I thought you were lying before, I'm just a sort of visual person.)