User blog comment:Akash.B/User blog:Akash.B/@comment-The Forbidden Tale/@comment-1808183-20100201021449

Ok, helpful critisism: I don't think that they should have fired the arrows. That just seems totally oppisite Redwall's beleifs (I know I spelled that wrong). I think that maybe just having Sheryl tell them the part about Martin- I thought that was really good- would have been alright, insted of killing them. Just killing them might have worked better in a different context: a badger lord, the Long Patrol, ect. but not Redwall. Something I liked about that whole part though was that it was really unexpected. But I don't think you need two unexpecteds in one chapter. The first one being that a group of vermin actually did show up unarmed, seemingly really wanting vittles- But there has to be more to it than that. The other unexpected thing being that redwall would do something like that. I hope you get what I'm saying, and I hope that helps. :)