User blog comment:Thaila Juskarath Taggerung/A Taggerung's Journey/@comment-74.72.80.106-20090426202048

Somethings: Good story, I really like Thaila and I think its cute that she and Skipper are getting together. The plot and character development are also good.

But. You proceed with the story too fast, how about some details about her past before Taggerung, details on her journey to Redwall, details at Redwall, details, details, details. Also some descriptions of the surroundings would be a further boost to this story. Also, you should develop the relationship between Skipper and Thaila, instead of love at first sight, how about a gradual romance where hate turns into love?

For a first fanfic, good start but my advice is to rewrite it and break it up into chapters, like her leaving the tribe and meeting up with Corella as one chapter, the playing around, journey to Redwall, and meeting with Skipper and his crew as another, and her adjustment to life at Redwall as another.