User blog comment:Segalia/Segalia Riverstorm's voyage/@comment-3124101-20110428140814

I like the last part of chapter ten. Thought in the part of Rori's reverie, ye put not instead of now. I believe ye have an extar of in yer third paragraph, after the last comma. And Ye have a few commas missing. I like the Direction this story has taken from here on, kind of like the plot's from me own fanfics.