User blog comment:Bluestripe the Wild/Bluestripe,A Name Remembered/@comment-1270315-20090429213946

It's good, what you need is a little more good guys talking, joking and such. Little less fighting. And add more in the begining about where blue lived and such. And the prolouge is to strat forward try:

An old female hare sat in the nearly deserted dining hall in the mountain of Salamandastron, recalling memories from long ago. The old hare sat thinking of those long gone days when a young hare babe ran up and sat beside her."Do you know any good storys, I'm bored."

"Yes, I know many. What would you like a story about?"

"Can you tell me a story about very fierce warriors,ma'arm?", asked the hare babe.

"I think I can tell a story to please you,you little rouge!", said the old harewife. The old harewife was about to start her story when more hares started to gather around to listen to her tale. Soon, every hare in Salamandastron, and even the Badger Lord was crowded in the dining hall,awaiting the old hare's tale. The old harewife started her story.

"This happened a long time ago, I will start my tale, it begins like this....."

Other than that its great! (sorry im a cridic)