User blog comment:Astar Goldenwing/For Freedom/@comment-1427879-20140123042920

That was great, Astar! I noticed a few errors in tenses, or lead instead of led once, but overall, they were hardly noticeable. One phrase "a too long way round", I think would be better if you put too long a way round.

I liked the character development in this chapter, particularly Betta trying to control herself and Skief's comment on the "good" broken earthenware. Nice job. Keep up the good work!