User blog comment:Silas switch/Queen of Ice/@comment-1630956-20100405214655

Intriguing...though there are some problems. 1) and a pot of edible roots were boiling in a pot. A little repetitve on the pot, try not to use the same word twice in a sentence.  Another thing, you forgot to CAPATALIZE and MAKE A NEW PARAGRAPH (press enter twice) EVERY TIME A NEW CHARACTER SPEAKS!   If you do that the story is so much easier to read, and more fun.  Last thing, YOU ENDED IN THE MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE AND IT'S TOO SHORT!  I WANT MORE!