User blog comment:Zenthartheflash/A tale of the otter warrior/@comment-3148757-20130504210400

Even though the author of this story has sadly been inactive for several years now; I still want to offer some constructive criticism nonetheless. It genuinely saddens me this story is just sitting here unedited; I believe it at least had a lot of potential and with a rewrite could become something great. That being said, here are my thoughts:

First and foremost, yes, I think this story is a bit of a ripoff on the Sable Quean (ie, the villainous sables, the hare main character, etc); though to be fair it was published shortly after said book came out. As a main character, I feel that Lea is a little bit of a Mary Sue; what with her ability to run at seemingly impossible paces and her somewhat implausible fighting skills. And as a villain; Vendra needs a lot of work. Her character leans far too heavily on the canonical Vilaya's; and she wasn't even a major character in the Sable Quean!

And I'm also going to say that the story goes by way too fast, and if the author is ever to return and see my review, I would advise that you slow the story down a notch in order to make room for things like dramatic tension, character development, and maybe even a few subplots (but not TOO many!).

If the story followed all these traits and proved it could stand on its own from the Sable Quean; I would be quite pleased, and if it's ever continued I think I would give this a reread. And those are my thoughts.