User blog comment:Ariyh/Ice Queen/@comment-3462718-20120402030406

The update was good; you feel sorry for the two sables, and I am curious what happens next. However, there were parts that were extremely confusing to read because thetense shifted back and forth from present tense (he sees, she does, they walk) to past tense. (he saw, she did, they walked.) The story is still very good plot-wise, but you really have to be careful about that; unless you're writing as if in a diary, a story should ALWAYS be in past tense.