User blog:Eulaliaaaa!/Kurda the Amazingly Useless Villainess

Trisscar Swordmaid and her good friend Shogg were walking along the path of Redwall Abbey. "Shogg, I am so glad that you survived that snake bite, otherwise I'd be all alone and Kroova would be sad. Thanks for escaping death for us." Shogg smiled at her in his adorable Shoog way. "Yore welcome Trissy. I hopes we don't meet any other villains that have poison." Just as Shogg spoke, Princess Kurda came out of the woods shaking her paw. "Yarr, I am the de best swordfighter in da world, but when confronted by a squirrlemaid, I am a sniveling coward!" She boasted. Triss pulled out the Sword of Martin and brandished it in front of the annoying ferret. "Shut your mouth you annoyingly emotional ferret!" She said waving the sword dangerously. Shogg leapt back a few paces. "Careful, Trissy, you nearly cleaved me in half!" Triss ran at Kurda and yelled out loud and clear. "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL!" Kurda nearly peed herself and ran away again. "Run away!" she yelled and took off into the woods with Triss right behind her. Kurda then stopped in her tracks. "Vait a moment. I am shamng the other villains in diss series. I must fight like most of de udder bad 'uns!" She turned around to be slain on the spot. Thus ended the amazingly annoying and entirely useless Princess Kurda. THE END

Badrang: That's it? That's what happened? Wow, my death was way more satisfying than that! Cluny: Seriously? That little snip is a villain? You've got to be kidding me. Slagar: WTF! Vizka: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! That was funny! Feragho: Shut up. *Kills Vizka* I am easily the best villain. Klitch: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey... no. I am you scarily happy old freak. Farran: ... Klitch: Nobody asked you! *kills Farran* Sawney Rath:That was the most lame death in the history of lame deaths. How is she a villain? Gruven: Because she enslaves goodbeasts and killed some old squirrel. Feragho: Really? *Everyone is quiet* Cluny: Yeah, I'm gonna go. *Leaves for five minutes, then runs back to random villains* OH MY GOD RUUUUUUN! *Everybeast watches him run by.* *Martin appears* Martin: REDWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL! All Villains: RUN AWAY! *Everybeast leaves only to be killed by Martin. Especially Badrang.* THE ACTUAL END.