User blog comment:Astar Goldenwing/Cripple/@comment-1427879-20150825021822

Ch 11- Ah, the nosy, bickering Guosim. I’m very interested in this Nighteye…totally Kyle’s mother. I really like the addition of the sparrow and the way you’ve developed the Sparra tongue. I’ll be interested to see more of her! And I like Jeryl. Ch 12- Kirsan Longsword, protector of Southsward. Very interesting. Also I’m not sure if I knew that this was set after Mattimeo’s time so that’s interesting. Oh, the otters are here! The herons were a cool idea. On one hand, I feel that their response to Kyle is very reasonable, but on the other, I’m tired for him having to face this prejudice all the time. Ch 13- Oh no, that ended so badly! I really hoped for a second that Farl would come with them, but now Skipper’s dead and everything’s ruined! I actually thought Svetlana might be close enough to hear and she could have stepped in to help, at least affirm his trustworthiness, but alas. And poor Farl! But the innards comment was funny. Oh, the Lana trying to escape explain why she couldn’t help. Also I like how Kyle’s skill with words is slowly advancing. I am also intrigued by Conrad’s plan…do blood and/or seawater have a corrosive enough effect on metal? That could be useful. I saw a few incorrect tenses etc. and a few wrong words, but overall it was pretty good. I’m interested to see what happens next! It’s too bad that the otters failed, but if they ally with the Guosim, I have a feeling they’ll be more successful (I also have a failing that the Skipper’s son will be out for vengeance which will cause some issues). Nice updates, Astar! KIU!