User blog comment:Silas switch/silas switch's tale/@comment-1630956-20100306020655

Interesting, good start. I wonder who hurt the fox? A few things to make yore story more readable, mate. First, don't indent. This page indents automatically and if you indent yourself it makes those annoying little boxes. Second, CAPATALIZE! Capitalize names and the beginnings of sentences, it makes it so much easier to read.

Another thing: bit by bit, the dawn rose and bathed the peaceful abbey in sunlight.  You might want to change out "dawn" for "sun" because dawn is a time of day, not somthing that can rise. I don't know about other people but it was a little confusing when i read it.

Uh oh, looks like we're about to have squirrelcicles! I think i know how the fox is going to wake up. With two squirrels poking her! Keep it up mate!