User blog comment:Ming the Japanese Fox/A Foxes Tale/@comment-1738724-20100601130207

Pretty good start, a bit confusing at this bit.

"Alright, you know the rules, leave your opponent unconscious for 1 minute".

But did you mean you had to knock them out by the time one minute was up or they had o be unconscious for one minute? And the dialogue doesn't have enough punctuation, like this:

"C'mon sis, hurry up! We're almost late!"

Your's was this:

"C'mon sis hurry up we're almost late"

See the difference? Sorry, I'm probably criticizing too much. And maybe name this chapter Prologue instead of Six seasons earlier. Anyways, better leave it at that. Otherwise, KIC!! (I'm pretty sure you know what that means)