User talk:Sambrook the otter

Signature
Could you bring your image actually into your signature rather than on the page? It makes it look like your picture is part of the discussion when it is not. --LordTBT  Talk! 18:16, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

I must apoligize. every thing i have mostly posted er, has not been right. sorry ^_^ Sambrook the otter 22:08, 14 September 2008 (UTC)

I wouldn't worry
Dude, if I can get away with a rat getting stabbed in the gut, describing the flow of blood and the dripping noise it makes when it hits the ground, falling to the ground, coughing up more blood, coughing up a lot more blood, then dying.... Yeah, I don't think the level of gruesomeness (Is that even a word?) is a big deal. Just don't go overboard, like slitting someone open and strangle them with their own intestines or something. By the way, the rat getting stabbed was in my fanfic story Red Tide.

Keep it up! I like your story so far.

Some random redwall fan  Talk! 1:09, 20 September 2008 (UTC)

P.S. Does Chains really sound like it was written by a girl (see Laterose's commet and you'll see why I'm asking.)  Click here.

Haha thanks. Yeah im in the middle of reading your story. I can't imagine a gril writing that. Thanks again Sambrook the otter 02:57, 20 September 2008 (UTC)

ARC Books
The Advanced Reading Copies are large paperbacks around the size of a hardcover Redwall book, and usually with all the same cover artwork (except for a small white band on the front saying it is an ARC and not for resale). The first page includes the summary that will appear on the flaps of the dustjacket, and a notice that since it's not the final version of the book, reviewers shouldn't quote from it. Otherwise, it's basically the same inside as the actual published book, except for possibly a few errors here and there that haven't been corrected yet. One more thing is that in my ARC copy of High Rhulain, the illustrations that appear towards the end of the book hadn't been added yet.
 * --Cornflower [[Image:CornflowerIcon.JPG]] Talk! 14:28, 21 September 2008 (UTC)

Story editing
Alright, I don't know whether or not you've noticed yet, but I've edited your story. Just know I DID NOT ADD OR DELETE ANYTHING, AND I DIDN'T MESS WITH THE PLOT AT ALL!! All I did was fix typos, add commas when needed, italicized poems, notes, riddles, and stuff. But I hardly did any of that. The reason why I'm, guiltily, starting to think I edited your story a bit too much was that I skipped lines. What I mean is that originally, all of the chapters were one, long paragraph. I wrote like that when I started Chains and I got a complaint. Someone said "It was too hard to read! I kept reading the same line over and over or skipping one!"

I'd hate to see that happen to you, so I indented lines. You know, when someone started talking or it changes an idea or setting or something, I indented. Here's what I mean.

(Following not taken from your story. Taken from my Red Tide)

Original:

"And theye were neva seen again." the little otter finished dramatically. On the other side of the small fire, his mates huddled together and shivered in fear. A cold wind blew from deep within the cave they sat in, and the firelight cast wierd, dancing shadows on the walls. The sounds of laughter and feasting outside was lost on their poor, innocent ears. One of the smaller otters poked his head out from beneath the huddle."Neva?" he asked fearfully. The little storyteller grinned cheekily. "Neva eva." he replied. A dreadful silence hung in the night air. The young otters hugged each other tightly and whimpered in fear. Tiller had just told them the scariest story they had ever heard. The tale of the Ghost Ships! A dreadful story about a specteral ship and its terrifying ghost crew. Pictures of eyeless, moaning, green phantom figures danced across their small, innocent minds.

Edited:

"And theye were neva seen again." the little otter finished dramatically. On the other side of the small fire, his mates huddled together and shivered in fear. A cold wind blew from deep within the cave they sat in, and the firelight cast wierd, dancing shadows on the walls. The sounds of laughter and feasting outside was lost on their poor, innocent ears. One of the smaller otters poked his head out from beneath the huddle.

"Neva?" he asked fearfully.

The little storyteller grinned cheekily. "Neva eva." he replied. A dreadful silence hung in the night air. The young otters hugged each other tightly and whimpered in fear. Tiller had just told them the scariest story they had ever heard. The tale of the Ghost Ships! A dreadful story about a specteral ship and its terrifying ghost crew. Pictures of eyeless, moaning, green phanto figures danced across their small, innocent minds.

See how I skipped lines like that whenever someone new started talking? And isn't the edited one a bit easier to read? That's all I did. No new characters, no addition to storyline, nothing. Just that.

By the way, when I was editing, it gave me a chance to really read story and...and... Holy cow! I'm at a loss for words! It is awesome! Keep it up, man!

Some random redwall fan  Talk! 22:49, 21 September 2008 (UTC)

Good job!!!
I love your story Sambrook! Writen very well. It flows smoothly and you have some incredible word choices. Keep on writing! Charie Swordmaid Talk! 23:21, 21 September 2008 (UTC)

Format
Alright, I reformatted the new section. One problem though. What did you mean with this sentence?

As he walked over to her, he stumbled, crouching, as he paw a paw behind him he came back with it covered in sticky, wet blood.

You might want to fix that. I don't really get what your saying there.

Alright, enough criticism. That new section was awesome! You can write a fight really well! Plus, I was wondering when you were going to say what Tallborath (did I spell that right?) was, Way to go!

By the way, you were REALLY close with the format. In the editing stage, I saw you had indented between speakers. Well, this word system is weird. If you indent once, nothing happens. You have to indent 'twice for it to work. Yeah, it's weird.

Keep writing, man! I'm hooked!

Some random redwall fan  Talk! 01:02, 22 September 2008 (UTC)

Cue the Q
Me too. I have the first chapter drafted. I have a question. Have you ever wondered how Martin knew to write the poem under the tapestry for Matthias to find? All the other clues too. Charie Swordmaid Talk! 02:29, 22 September 2008 (UTC)

Signature
I was online and I noticed that you had asked how to fiddle with your signature and that your story was having an internal error. Sorry to hear that. 'Fraid I can't help you there. But, I can help you with how to fiddle with your signature. This is what I told Charie Swordmaid

It's really complicated. I still don't really know how. I just looked at LordTBT's and Dannflow's signature and went from there. Alright, here's my signature all typed out.

Some random redwall fan  Talk!

Don't ask me what the technical stuff means, cause I don't know. Anyhow, You have to have a picture in mind. Like, mine is Image:Martin002.jpg. Look back at the signature. You can ignore the 'font color' stuff, but if you want to have colored writing...

Anyhow, if you want to shrink your picture down, do the following (using my signature): That 35px is what made my picture shrink. It's different for all pictures, but you get the best results between 30px and 45px. Note all of the spaces in | 35px |. If you're off by one space, it won't work. When your trying it out, keep hitting the 'Show Preview' to see how your doing. When your satisfied, Select the whole thing (like you do in word documents, you know, highlight it) and go to edit (at the top of the screen, not part of the wiki) and hit 'Copy'. Then go to 'My prefrences' (It's on the black bar on the top of your screen where it says 'My Talk', 'Watchlist' Log out' and stuff. It's under 'More') Alright, click in the box that says 'My signature' near it, go back up to edit, and hit 'Paste'. That big, long thing you typed should appear in the box. Check the 'Raw Signature' box under it, then go down to 'Save' (It's at the bottom of the page). Next time you do the ( ~ ) thing to sign, your pictured signature should appear.

Yeah, it's really confusing. That's really all I can help you with, but if you have any questions, write me back.

Good luck with fixing your story!

--<font color="Red">Some random redwall fan  <font color="Red" size="2">Talk! 02:33, 22 September 2008 (UTC)

Thanks
I owe you one man, thanks Sambrook the otter 02:40, 22 September 2008 (UTC)

New Story
Thats exactlly what I was thinking. Should I put the first chapter on or should I wait to write a few more. The first chapter doesnt explain a lot. Readers might get confused. What do you think?

<font color="Green">Charie Swordmaid  <font color="Green" size="2">Talk!

Re: lets see
That's good. Oh yeah, I just figured out that the between 35-50px isn't right. Try making your picture a bit larger by making the #px bigger. It's a little hard to see.

It's complicated, isn't it?

--<font color="Red">Some random redwall fan  <font color="Red" size="2">Talk! 03:07, 22 September 2008 (UTC)

That's better (got sick of typing RE)
There you go. You got it quicker than I did. It took me well over a week. By the way, don't forget to do the thing where you type out that big, long thing in 'My Signature' in 'My Prefrences' (In case you didn't know, it's under 'More' in the black bar up top) and saving it. If you do that, your new signature will show up when you do the (~) thing.

--<font color="Red">Some random redwall fan  <font color="Red" size="2">Talk! 03:20, 22 September 2008 (UTC)

Pre-Ordering
Hey, I noticed that you had pre-ordered Doomwyte. That's not a bad idea. Would you mind telling me how to do that?

--<font color="Red">Some random redwall fan  <font color="Red" size="2">Talk! 22:58, 22 September 2008 (UTC)

Thank You!
I am very glad to to get your feedback on the Redwall Pass-a-Long. I will edit the story as soon as I am able to find time. Also I read your story, it was very good and if you feel inspired enough or feel like it sometime, I would really enjoy it if you could contribute a chapter to the Redwall Pass-a-Long (I'm fairly sure this is a run on sentance). I have sort of monopolized it and it would be good to get some new writers. Truly, Balfour, the Wiley

New section
I finally am ready to post the next 3 1/2 chapters to Sambrook's Story. thank you for your patience!

Tip
Your very welome. Just ask. I can give you some tips for editing. Oh, ask User:Some random redwall fan and LordTBT. They can help you with any problem. Love your story. Keep at it. :) --<font color="Green">Charie Swordmaid  <font color="Green" size="2">Talk! 22:09, 2 October 2008 (UTC)

Fan Fiction story
Right, I started, not finished started editing your story. So far, every little typo, grammar problem, indention, and other stuff up to a certain point (not exactly sure where.) has been fixed. I can't see what's different, but I'm not done yet! Just know I'll finish editing soon.

--<font color="Red">Some random redwall fan  <font color="Red" size="2">Talk! 05:38, 3 October 2008 (UTC)

By the way, you're not being a pest. It's my pleasure :) Oh yeah, and I pre-ordered Doomwyte.  Thanks for telling me how to do that!

Signature Pic
How do you get a pic into the signature? Zaran Rhulain 00:34, 5 October 2008 (UTC)

k thanks

Sambrook's Story
THere will be no additions to the story for a little bit because A.) the people who did our flooring messed up big time. B.) School - self explanitory

I will write as much as I can during these weeks, but do not expect anything untill oct. 15 -> but, most likely over my fall break will I write another section/ chapters n' stuff. thanks for listening, <font color="Blue ">Sambrook the otter  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 13:23, 5 October 2008 (UTC)

The Last Stand of Redwall
can you please not edit my story? It's screwing up the way I look at it

Thanks, but can you leave the formatting alone?

Its only the spoken lines that get indented, makes it clearer to who is talking

Thanks man, I appreciate it, I think I made it a bit clearer

Fanfic story
Alright, I finished formatting your story. I had no idea that Charie Swordmaid had also helped format it, so I apologize if it seemed like I took all the credit. Anyhow, every little typo, comma error, misspelling, and other junk like that has been dealt with.

As with the first time, this gave me a chance to look at your story in detail. I swear I'm not just saying this to make you feel better, I am at a loss for words. Just....wow. To quote my Language teacher, I am stunned and amazed. You have a gift for story writing man, you truly do. I must say though, I loved that section where Tallow reaches for the crutches, sees the mousemaid with the terrible ankle injury, and leaves the crutches for her. That was heartwarming, and I really like this character now. DO NOT STOP WRITING! THIS IS INCREDIBLE!

--<font color="Red">Some random redwall fan  <font color="Red" size="2">Talk! 04:49, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

PS: A buddy of mind has started writing his own Redwall fanfic story, after he read several others on this site (including yours). I'm not entirely sure if he's serious, but he wants to join the wiki and post his story. I've read what he's written so far, and I can say it is a very excellent story. I don't know what it will be called, but I'll let you know when it is posted.

Avatar?
Hi Sambrook, I'm new and you said you'd give me help if I needed any! How do you add an avatar? And can you add signatures or not? Thanks, Pe-ads the Mighty

Signature
I finally got it perfectish xD See

<font color="Green">Zaran Rhulain  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 21:08, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

xDDDDD thx

New fanfic story
Alright, I convinced my buddy to join. His username is Black hawk, and his story is called Death Knight. He just started writing seconds before I posted this message, but he probably won't be done until much later. Anyhow, be prepared for blood and lots of it. His story, although not as bloody as ours (yet) is pretty gruesome. I hope you like it!

--<font color="Red">Some random redwall fan  <font color="Red" size="2">Talk! 00:36, 7 October 2008 (UTC)

I love it
It truely is a great story. <font color="Blue ">Sambrook the otter  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 15:53, 8 October 2008 (UTC)

Whats to expect.
my story WILL have more chapters added soon. (I am expecting to have up to chapter 20 done and on the wiki by this week end.)

SpoilersAlba silently watched... Tallbrath hit the ground with a bump ... The shrew flared, "What?! The Rapids are almost impossible to cross, with the rain fall this year!"... Bucking and cavorting madly, the little log boat sped through ''the rapids. Alba looked back crossly at Dwirby, "Why in the world are ye just standin' there? ''Help us paddle!" But the sturdy shew stood his ground, "I can't. I'm standing on top of a hole missy!"... The sword of martin the warrior flashed as it was knocked from Tirbit's paws; It flew through the air, landing, its point stuck in the middle, right inside the camp fire's flames. No beast expected what happened next. The sword began to turn white. But so ''radiant was the blade, was that all eight had to look away. There was a sound like an ''earthquake from where the sword stood. The light died down. All eyes turned upon the blade, ''and were shocked by what they saw. Standing in the fire, a gentle white light surrounded him as they saw, with his paws resting on the blade was martin the warrior... Seilith grabbed his scythe from a near-by tree that it was leaning on. All in one movement he he swung it, took ''off the unfortunates head, and had the scythe resting at his side. He spoke to the headless carcass, "When I want your opinion Ill ask for it. I will have them back in my paws, and when I do, I will take them apart, piece by piece. Just like you my friend." The ermine swung his sythe downwards, sticking it in the rotting, bleeding corpse...

For a smidgen of later chapters... ''...Came into the abbey, his paws and fur, matted with blood. He dropped Sella onto the soft dewy lawn. Panting hoarsely, he collapsed as Tallborath rushed over to him...''

Thanks for waiting, <font color="Blue ">Sambrook the otter  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 15:54, 8 October 2008 (UTC)

Me likey
Woah, that is a sweet spoiler mate

Very descriptive and you had me hooked like a fish

<font color="Green">Zaran Rhulain  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 02:35, 10 October 2008 (UTC)

That's sweet lol, here's my "spoiler" won't come for a few chapters *wink* shhhh

Rashear looked up from the battle at the sky, remarking to his companion Frang,
 * "Do ye hear like a low rumble mate? Sounds like a t'understorm in the distance"

Frang also looked up and searched the skies
 * I dun see any clouds mate, skies clear as a jewel and soundless like mornin' fog. The battle must be messin' with your ear's mate. I can barely hear myself think among this din. Maybe you should get yer head checked."

Rashear snorted
 * "Aye, I need my head checked like I need a blunt javelin sticking in me. No I'm pretty shore I heard thunder"

You can interpret this as you like

<font color="Green">Zaran Rhulain  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 00:10, 11 October 2008 (UTC)

Sweet!
I love the spoiler! Cant wait till the rest is up. :)

--<font color="Green">Charie Swordmaid  <font color="Green" size="2">Talk! 21:59, 10 October 2008 (UTC)

Please!!!
Please dont leave me hanging much longer!!! <font color="Green">Charie Swordmaid  <font color="Green" size="2">Talk! 01:32, 11 October 2008 (UTC)

Sorry
I know I said I would have the next section up in a few hours, and within 20 minutes of writing that I was leaving our house to go to church picnic thing. I didn't realize I said it would be up in a matter of hours. As soon as I get home Ill finish chapter 14 and post the two chapters up. once again, Thank you and sorry =\ <font color="Blue ">Sambrook the otter  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 00:15, 12 October 2008 (UTC)

story explanation.
I understand my spoiler said The four travelers... but I am eliminating Driko, because I can't do mole speech. Sorry, <font color="Blue ">Sambrook the otter  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 22:02, 12 October 2008 (UTC)

Want me to help? I can molespeech

<font color="Green">Zaran Rhulain  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 22:18, 12 October 2008 (UTC)

Doomwyte
It's not horror, it just looks scary and the beginning starts omniously

I won't reveal anymore xD <font color="Green">Zaran Rhulain  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 23:28, 12 October 2008 (UTC)

alright :D
Chapter 12-16 are now posted! please enjoy and tell me what you think! <font color="Blue ">Sambrook the otter  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 02:05, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Criticism, Compliments, Suggestion
First of all, FINALLY!! I was wondering when you were going to post more of your story. You kept me hanging! Second of all, I did my usual editing for the rest of chapter 12 and all the way up to where you are currently are (End of chapter 17) Typos, grammar problems, misspellings, they're all fixed.

Criticisms. I hate writing them just as much you hate reading them. But, just know that I'm not writing them to be unpleasant or mean. Anyhow, Tirbit ripping a rat in half. That sounds, how to say this nicely, questionable. In other words, someone might read that, roll their eyes, and exit the page. Hopefully not any of us members, but you never know. Plus, during the story you tend to use 'he', 'she', and 'it' too much. This is easily fixed by replacing with the character's name, "The (insert species name here)", or (insert fake title, such as 'the oarslave'). And, I promise this is my last point of criticism, it seems like the bits leading up to the fights and the fights themselves are rushed. It might help if the fights were revised or lengthened a bit. Don't worry too much about that though, I have the exact same problem!

Alright, enough criticism. I hated writing that.

I said it once, I'll say it again, you have a gift for creative writing. I heavily enjoy reading your story, and I sincerely hope you plan to keep writing more. The songs and poems sound like they were written by BJ himself! Somehow, you take several dark, awesome ideas, such as spearfishing and very bloody combat, and apply it to the innocent (for the most part), carefree world of Redwall, and it works extremely well. The plot is filled with sudden drops and turns, but not ridiculously.

The point is, "I'm impressed, I want more, Keep writing." Enough said.

Suggestions. There is one way to get around the "rat getting torn in half" bit. Keep that, but have Tirbit experience more moments of unhuman (unmouse?) strength. Maybe that could become a major role in the plot and lead to some dramatic happening. I don't know.

Anyhow, I'm still hooked on your story. Keep it up!

--<font color="Red">Some random redwall fan  <font color="Red" size="2">Talk! 05:42, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

P.S. Can I have your opinion on something? In my Red Tide (II), one of the character's uses...um, severe language. Nothing serious, but I'm still a bit nervous about it. What happens is a crowd of otters start fighting amongst themselves and despite an old otters attempts to stop them, they keep fighting. Finally, a younger otter has enough, climbs to a highspot above the crowd and yells,

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

I used that kind of talk because I figured language would cause everyone to stop and stare. I try to make the characters as human-like as possible, so they panic, they stress out, and they react to strong language. Anyhow, to see the story, click here

How about instead of Tirbit ripping a rat in half, he rips off his arm and runs him through the bone fragment from his arm? <font color="Green">Zaran Rhulain  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 16:22, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

It can never be enough gruesome, i think the most disturbing death i can think of is someone chopping off ur thumbs and choking you with it xDDD<font color="Green">Zaran Rhulain

nice.......assassin style, that extra turn of the head was just for kicks xD<font color="Green">Zaran Rhulain  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 22:06, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

0_0
Some of those suggestions Zaran or was it Zharan... oh well yeah I find them a little disturbing but I love reading gruesome could you maybe help me with some parts in my fan fiction thing i can think up the scene but not write it down--Aida Otterock 00:47, 14 October 2008 (UTC)

-_-" Lmao
For the record, I am a he, not she, Zaran is ambiguous. As for the Rhulain, I could be related to her xD

<font color="Green">Zaran Rhulain  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 01:37, 14 October 2008 (UTC)

Getting around the ripped in half bit.
There is a very easy way to get around the "ripped in half" section. Keep that section, but have feats of superhuman strength happen at random moments. That way, the next time Tirbit does something crazy like that, it won't seem as...um...questionable. Or, another way you could get around that is by making the death just as gruesome and still relating to Tirbit possesing unhuman strength, just not as...um...ludicrous.

Anyhow, I'm glad your liking Red Tide (II) so far. I'm the type of person who is always overjoyed when someone reads my writings and likes it. About the old otter, he's just a pessemisstic old crab, but underneath, he has a heart of gold. He is in reality a kind and loving soul, who would never harm a fly. In fact, he will probably become a great hero in the story.

Just kidding. I always hated it when negative characters remain negative but somehow become heroic. You're supposed to hate him. But you might hate him even more when you see what happens next...

I will say nothing more.

--<font color="Red">Some random redwall fan  <font color="Red" size="2">Talk! 03:03, 14 October 2008 (UTC)

Shanks
Thank you. It'll get better. My laptop has been in the shop. So I couldn't write much these past few days. :)

<font color="Green">Charie Swordmaid  <font color="Green" size="2">Talk! 00:32, 15 October 2008 (UTC)

xD
I beat youse all in posting up info about most of the characters xDDD<font color="Green">Zaran Rhulain  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 02:18, 20 October 2008 (UTC)

Several quick questions
Firstly, when are you going to add more to Sambrook's Story? I REALLY want to know what happens.

Secondly, I'm having trouble with names in Red Tide (II). Can you make any suggestions? I just introduced the 'slave galley' so some names for the slaves would help a ton.

Thirdly, thanks again for telling me how to order Doomwyte. I got it a day before it even came out! Thank you!

Fourthly, what did you think of Doomwyte? Good? Bad? Decent? I added it to my top 5 list, and I just want to see whether or not I was the only one who enjoyed it.

And Finally, say goodbye to Chains. I am going to delete it right after I finish this message. However, I will save it onto a word document on my PC and who knows? Maybe I'll repost it one day...

--<font color="Red">Some random redwall fan  <font color="Red" size="2">Talk! 05:25, 21 October 2008 (UTC)

Sorry...
Hi, this is swordbearer. I'm the guy who wrote life of Rorzan. I edited your page a little because the "battling random vermin..." part was sticking out. Sorry. Oh, and thanks for the fanfic advice. Will do.

-Swordbearer &lt;+&gt;- 00:01, 23 October 2008 (UTC)

Your Story
Waaaaaaa! Not the suspense!!! Sorry bout the drama outburst. Keep writin, you've got us hooked :D

<font color="Green">Charie Swordmaid  <font color="Green" size="2">Talk! 01:27, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

"Thoroughly Enough"
What can explained more thoroughly? --<font color="Green">LordTBT  <font color="Green" size="2">Talk! 17:17, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

I'm not sure what was confusing about the upper right hand corner, but it has now been wikified. The rest of the answer is a step-by-step explanation. --<font color="Green">LordTBT  <font color="Green" size="2">Talk! 03:45, 25 October 2008 (UTC)


 * It seems to me you totally misunderstood the directions. "In the upper right hand corner" was describing where My Preferences is located. "In the "Nickname" field (right under your email address)" used to be the correct location, however I now see that the field has been renamed "Signature", and have amended that. Finally, there is an example in the FAQs of a signature, mine. --<font color="Green">LordTBT [[Image:Tbtico.jpg]] <font color="Green" size="2">Talk! 06:05, 25 October 2008 (UTC)

Okeydokey! :D <font color="Green">Charie Swordmaid  <font color="Green" size="2">Talk! 19:24, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

Life of Rorzan
Hey it's me, Swordbearer. I was wondering, could I put you in my fanfic? You don't have to say yes, but a reply would be nice.

-Swordbearer &lt;+&gt;- 00:59, 25 October 2008 (UTC)

Thanks
Thanks. I wouldn't mind name suggestions, but there isn't enough of a need to slow down writing. Right now, the only I'll need are names of Northern Brigade soldiers, for the impending battle. (As if it wasn't apparent). Black hawk 20:53, 29 October 2008 (UTC)

Red Tide
Sup. Right, remember how a few weeks ago I had told you that I was worried about the use of..um..language in Red Tide (II)? Well, I was right, it got deleted.

Not the whole story, but administration changed;

"SHUT THE HELL UP!'

into:

"IN THE NAME OF SEASONS, SHUT UP!"

Which one do you think, personally, is better?

Anyhow, the only reason I haven't added anything to Red Tide (II) is just because I'm having trouble with a poem. Look at the talk page and you'll see what I mean. Black hawk and Charie Swordmaid are already trying to help me with some ideas. You got any?

Thanks. --<font color="Red">Some random redwall fan  <font color="Red" size="2">Talk! 00:01, 30 October 2008 (UTC)

P.S: When are you going to add more to your story?

The Sable Quean
If I pre-order the book like I did for Doomwyte, I should have it before it even comes out on the UK <font color="Green">Zaran Rhulain  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 02:51, 30 October 2008 (UTC)

Confidence
Ha! That was a confidence booster. Thanks!

Yeah, so far, everybody that I've asked "Which do you prefer, SHUT THE HELL UP! or IN THE NAME OF SEASONS, SHUT UP!?" Everybody has answered "The original." Maybe I should start a petition...nah.

I wouldn't worry about your story. Based on what I've read, I really don't think that the new chapters will be 'terrible.' Don't waste time worrying about it.

Also, I read the script for the "battle" for Death Knight: Part Two. Remember, Black hawk is a buddy of mine and he often shows me the printed out 'manuscript' in biology class. Anyhow, prepare for blood. If you stop and picture how one of the mice die...*shudder*. It's AWESOME though!

Anyhow, still no luck with Red Tide (II). I'm getting there. What's really frustrating is that after the poem is posted, I will take off. But, until then, *groan*.

Please post your story soon! --<font color="Red">Some random redwall fan  <font color="Red" size="2">Talk! 21:54, 30 October 2008 (UTC)

Writer's Block
I need help mate, I've been sitting at the computer for a week now on how to introduce Salamandastrom into the story and everything I tried hasn't worked. Can you give me some ideas for Chapter Seven? Thanks

oops, sry for editing your user page, I didnt look at the type of page it was

<font color="Green">Zaran Rhulain  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 13:04, 31 October 2008 (UTC)

It's good, but I don't really want the badger lord to be directly involved, he should be like a minor character, old, wise, and blind, but everything else sounds good. I'll have Skipper meet an old friend in Chapter Eight, it's just really bothering me that I can't think of a good way to introduce Salamandastrom without sounding boring.

<font color="Green">Zaran Rhulain  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 17:38, 31 October 2008 (UTC)

Question
I'm having a hard time with A Warrior Goes On.... Do you have any suggestions? I might just take it off. What do you think?

<font color="Green">Charie Swordmaid  <font color="Green" size="2">Talk! 22:00, 1 November 2008 (UTC)

Your doing great on you fanfic its pretty awesome just one question though is Tallborath(i think i spelled that wrong
 * ( if i did im sorry)really Martin the Warrior<font color="Orange">Aida Otterock [[Image: AOTfanart.jpg | 30px | ]] <font color="Orange" size="2">Talk! 01:27, 2 November 2008 (UTC)

Your fanfic
You asked what I thought of the edition to your story. I think its incredible.

But its interesting how things have turned and are heading in a different direction with Tirbit. Its like all the emotion has been just sucked out of him. Like he's a robot. You can tell that its because of slavery though. Helps to tie it in, me likey =D.

I dont think anything in your story needs any editing. Except the part where Tirbit is fighting. Him lifting a rat above his head sounds just a little, weird. Idk, maybe its just me. Perhaps he could break the rat's neck some other way. I dunno a tree limb or somethin. But I love how its a mouse who's the Bloodrath dude in this story. =D

<font color="Green">Charie Swordmaid  <font color="Green" size="2">Talk! 03:28, 2 November 2008 (UTC)

What are you talking about?
Alright, I finally got around to editing your story. Sorry I didn't do it earlier, busy Halloween. Anyhow, apparently Zaran had already done some editing, so I didn't really do much. But, same as usual. Typos, misspellings, grammar stuff, all fixed.

By the way, how come you think these past two chapters aren;t that good? They're great! (Why do I have the sudden urge to eat frosted flakes?). Anyhow, all sarcasm aside, they are excellent examples of storytelling. If you were worried about the MArtin-fire thing, it's not cheesy or stupid in any way. It's awesome. :) --<font color="Red">Some random redwall fan   <font color="Red" size="2">Talk! 04:51, 2 November 2008 (UTC)

Makes sense
Make a lot of sense. You know. Tirbit's whole bloodrath thing. =D Keep writing, I'm hooked. I actually think that nothing should be changed at this point. =D Its perfect. Could you read my story and maybe help me with some ideas? I'm stuck. =P

<font color="Green">Charie Swordmaid  <font color="Green" size="2">Talk! 20:42, 3 November 2008 (UTC)

Tallborath
Is Tallborath a squirrel or a mouse. Here's why Im confuzzled.

Chapter 7-line 5

in the middle of the camp hung a young squirrel, dangling from his paws on a low-lying branch.

Chapter 17-line 19 Rivris looked over at the trembling mouse and shrugged and then turned back to Alba.

These both are talking about Tallborath. Can you straighten this out? Thanx

<font color="Green">Charie Swordmaid  <font color="Green" size="2">Talk! 23:15, 3 November 2008 (UTC)

The Poem
I FINALLY WROTE THE POEM FOR RED TIDE (II)! It took me 45 minutes and a lot of paper, but I DID IT! I'm sorry that I didn't wait for suggestions, but I came to the conclusion that if I didn't write it now, It would just be Chains all over again. I sure as heck didn't want that.

Anyhow, heres the poem. (Note: helps to read slowly. You'll see why.)


 * My paws are worn,
 * And my back is torn,
 * The lash has done this to me.


 * A familiar face,
 * In a hellish place,
 * Lost amid horrors at sea.


 * Her innocent eyes,
 * As blue as the skies,
 * Are wide with the horrors around.


 * They are brimming with tears,
 * And now it appears.
 * Her time has come to bow down.


 * So one day at sea,
 * That was when she,
 * Stopped rowing and cradled her head.


 * The lash then attacked,
 * Her frail little back,
 * And now my sister is dead.


 * My paddling has increased,
 * To the job of two beasts,
 * But my mind is not focused on that.


 * My dear little sister...
 * Oh God, I miss her.
 * My heart is the ground of combat.


 * My soul is stone dead,
 * My mind is stained red,
 * With her blood that sprayed on my face.


 * The waves are her grave,
 * She was even depraved,
 * Of a peaceful resting place.


 * I have no fear of hell,
 * I have my own little cell,
 * In this galley to which I am bound.


 * I have witnessed its worst,
 * My eyes have been cursed,
 * With the death and horror around.


 * She's out there somewhere...
 * In that watery nightmare.
 * In which we were both held.


 * Death is not far now,
 * I am starting to see how,
 * It grins at me from the shadows and yells.


 * I don't want to hang on,
 * The little life I still don,
 * My life is now a waning moon.


 * My dear little sister...
 * Yes, I still miss her,
 * But now...I know I will see her soon.


 * I love you sis.


 * -Binty

Dark stuff, isn't it? Anyhow, please write me back and tell me what you think. Thanks. --<font color="Red">Some random redwall fan  <font color="Red" size="2">Talk! 05:48, 4 November 2008 (UTC)

Re: to what you wrote on my user pag
Um, I've been writing something for some redwaller to sing after the first battle with Skullvan's horde, thanks about the signature thing, and how long your next section should be is up to you but if you want like i also noticed somewhere else(i cant remember where) you said chapter 19 was gonna be pretty long so i you wanted you could split it into two chapters... but what do i really know--<font color="Orange">Aida Otterock  <font color="Orange" size="2">Talk! 14:39, 6 November 2008 (UTC)

I dont...
Mean to be nosy but i was reading on your user page that you like Frank Perreti's book i havent read them myself but i do know he writes on Christian topics are you one--<font color="Orange">Aida Otterock  <font color="Orange" size="2">Talk! 00:40, 8 November 2008 (UTC)

I was...
Reading your poem Tirbit's Bloodrath on your user page. Wow...thats really deep. =D It's awesome!

<font color="Green">Charie Swordmaid  <font color="Green" size="2">Talk! 18:44, 8 November 2008 (UTC)

It would...
Explain a lot if you did. I think you should. But that's my oppinion. =D

<font color="Green">Charie Swordmaid  <font color="Green" size="2">Talk! 19:40, 8 November 2008 (UTC)

Tirbit
That would be soooooo cool!!! Sorry, I kinda get over enthusiastic. I'd make sense to have it be amnesia and stuff. Whatever you do, we'll love it. =D

<font color="Green">Charie Swordmaid  <font color="Green" size="2">Talk! 19:47, 8 November 2008 (UTC)

That's...
Great, i wouldve responded sooner but i cant get on on Saturdays, being proud of being a Christian is the best thing to be proud of, thats awesome btw keep writing your fanfic ive really been enjoying it--<font color="Orange">Aida Otterock  <font color="Orange" size="2">Talk! 01:51, 9 November 2008 (UTC)

Template
I created the custom template for welcoming new users, its on my page, feel free to use it if you please

<font color="Green">Zaran Rhulain  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 01:57, 9 November 2008 (UTC)

Sambrook the otter  <font color="maroon" size="2">Talk! Sambrook the otter  <font color="green" size="2">Talk! Sambrook the otter  <font color="blue" size="2">Talk!

Sambrook the otter  <font color="gold" size="2">Talk! Sambrook the otter  <font color="topaz" size="2">Talk! Sambrook the otter  <font color="saffron" size="2">Talk! Sambrook the otter  <font color="teal" size="2">Talk! Sambrook the otter  <font color="gold" size="2">Talk! Sambrook the otter  <font color="yellow" size="2">Talk! Sambrook the otter  <font color="violet" size="2">Talk! Sambrook the otter  <font color="red" size="2">Talk! Sambrook the otter  <font color="pearl" size="2">Talk!

yea sure no problem, and what do you mean my story is a bit cliche? <font color="Green">Zaran Rhulain  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 17:21, 10 November 2008 (UTC)

Its ok, im still deciding whether it should be destroyed or abandoned. decisions, decisions, decisions. <font color="Silver">Zaran Rhulain  <font color="White" size="2">Talk!

lol, white font on a white page

no, what I meant was whether the abbey should be abandoned or destroyed, just haven't had time to do major updates because junior year in high school takes up alot of my time, and im suffering from writer's block xP

Thnak You
Thank you for giving me a warm welcoming into the Redwall Wikia family. I will be happy to help and edit pages. I saw the picture u drew of the otter. You are an artist. I have some drawing I will upload on my user page later. One question

How do you get a picture to go with your signature?

Hope to see around Mossflower or in Redwall!!

--Martin the Warrior 20:37, 10 November 2008 (UTC)

Victory
gg, xD, w00t I won, now all that's left is LordTBT, Charie, Some RRF, and Aida. No problem

<font color="Green">Zaran Rhulain  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 00:37, 16 November 2008 (UTC)

Signature help
I saw that you were helping some of the new guys with their signatures. Can I make one suggestion though? At the beginning of your instructions, you post your signature looking like this:

<font color="Blue ">Sambrook the otter  <font color="yellow" size="2">Talk! 16:06, 15 November 2008 (UTC)

So, in other words, you just hit ~. The problem with that is when you say something like: "replace my name with yours" and whatnot, the code isn't shown and it won't make sense. See what I mean? You want to post this:

<font color="Blue ">Sambrook the otter  <font color="yellow" size="2">Talk! 16:06, 15 November 2008 (UTC)

Now in order to do that, you have to type out the complete code manually (or just copy and paste it from an older page). Then, at the beginning and end of the signature, type;

(long signature code)

Do not forget the / on the ending!!!!

Alright, if you have no idea what I'm talking about, leave your question on my talk page. I'll get back to ya. --<font color="Red">Some random redwall fan  <font color="Red" size="2">Talk! 04:18, 16 November 2008 (UTC)

Hey...
I dont exactly know if youve read my fanfic either way im trying to decide whether i should delete it or not because i dont like it and i came up with a way better idea that might actually make sense--<font color="Teal">Aida Otterock  <font color="Teal" size="2">Talk! 00:52, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

Nooooo, don't delete it, if you just have a better idea, just write it up xD <font color="Green">Zaran Rhulain  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 00:58, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

I'm with Zaran on this one completely. sorry I didn't respond, I had other buissness to attend Sambrook the otter  <font color="orange" size="2">Talk! 01:02, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

its ok i dont expect people here to respond quickly and if i do then i hope i trip again xP--<font color="Teal">Aida Otterock  <font color="Teal" size="2">Talk! 01:06, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

Don't delete it, I've got to get around here and soak up all the redwall brainwaves before anyone deletes anything. I side with Zaran here. ferretfang 150765862_6c179f568d_m.jpg| 20px |  <font color="teal" size="2">Talk! 16:06, 15 November 2008 (UTC) 01:19, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

Nice pictures
You can draw very well, keep uploading. do you think you could draw me a picture of my two otters? Lmao, you should pixel your name Patrick Andrews

<font color="Green">Zaran Rhulain  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 03:52, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

Nice pics, and good shading been working on that myself lately cant wait to see more--<font color="Teal">Aida Otterock  <font color="Teal" size="2">Talk! 04:07, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

^_^
Im so glad you like them! It inspires me to draw more! Sambrook the otter  <font color="orange" size="2">Talk! 04:14, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

Your welcome... i would add more of my drawings but our scanner doesnt work... ok i actually just dont know how to use it but still taking pictures with my webcam distorts the shading and everything that makes it look good on paper so i dont have my drawings up *shrug*--<font color="Teal">Aida Otterock  <font color="Teal" size="2">Talk! 04:21, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

Sambrook the otter  <font color="orange" size="2">Talk! 14:59, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

Otter Pics
Umm, its the otters Adena and Raynor and they are in a loving embrace, like the one in chapter three of The Last Stand of Redwall Abbey. Where Adena is resting her head on Raynor's shoulder and they are hugging each other, =P sounds really sappy lol

Thank you once again, (if you want, you could email me your address and I can pay by sending money through the mail xD)

<font color="Green">Zaran Rhulain  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 21:14, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

ummm, you can choose either one, like the one in chapter seven where their foreheads touch or in chapter three where Adena's head is on Skipper's shoulder. Which ever is more convenient and looks better. Thank you xDDDD

<font color="Green">Zaran Rhulain  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 14:26, 27 November 2008 (UTC)

?
How's your story comin along? BTW, I love the Thanksgiving pic! =D --<font color="Teal">C.S.maid  <font color="Teal" size="2">Talk! 16:37, 27 November 2008 (UTC)

No problem
You shouldn't say sorry, you're the one who is doing it voluntarily. Take as much time as you need and have fun on your vacation xD

<font color="Green">Zaran Rhulain  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 18:10, 28 November 2008 (UTC)


 * They are both wearing tunics, Raynor's is brown while Adena's is green
 * Adena's fur is sable or dark brown while Skipper is of a slightly lighter shade
 * Skipper is about half a head taller than Adena
 * Adena is very pretty, if you can make her look a bit more feminine than you usually draw your otters
 * Raynor has line scar that covers one of his cheeks
 * Eyes are open and staring into each other.

Thank youuu <font color="Green">Zaran Rhulain  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 20:29, 28 November 2008 (UTC)

Ok, no color then, but I would prefer if you can draw with head on shoulder type of thing or touching foreheads

Thanks, if you need any help with your story, ask xD

WOWWWWWW
I am just speechless man, that is better than I imagined it, its just, just freakin awesome. Thank you so much
 * The ankle bands, the shade and position. Its beautiful.

<font color="Green">Zaran Rhulain  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 04:10, 1 December 2008 (UTC)

Lol, you are right, the mistakes do make the picture, I'm still in awe of your drawing skills. If I ever need another drawing, I'll ask you xD, but only on weekends, I don't want to disturb your school schedule. Who knows, maybe you will get another drawing soon ;)

<font color="Green">Zaran Rhulain  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 04:31, 1 December 2008 (UTC)

Since you have time...
Lucky, you have two days of school only, I got the full five xP. Maybe I'll pick up drawing soon, idk yet.

You want another assignment? Okey dokey xD. In Chapter Four, where one of the conspirators gets killed, can you draw that scene if you are not busy? here are some details:
 * The weasel Gerald is just a body on the ground and Leenu the ferret and Hangeye the rat turns around to see what happened.
 * The view point is from a back spectator where the corpse is showing slightly from the bottom of the page and there is a dagger buried in the body, doesn't matter where the dagger is. The rat and ferret is smaller because of the viewpoint, with their heads turned slightly to look back
 * But then off to the side, there is a cloak that sticks out fluttering, this is Zan, swiftly melting back into the shawdows. (On a side note, don't draw Zan since I didnt specified what type of animal he is, keeps some mystery in the story xD)

Try your best I'm sure it will come out great. Umm, the background is pretty much a fringing forest. It's also during the night, so the drawing would be shaded all over I think.

<font color="Green">Zaran Rhulain  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 00:33, 2 December 2008 (UTC)

New Sig xD:

<font color="Green">Zaran Rhulain  <font color="Blue" size="2">Talk! 00:46, 2 December 2008 (UTC)