User blog comment:The Thorn/The Thorn/@comment-Nightfall/@comment-1988904-20100421014345

A great start to what looks like a very interesting story. The names of your creatures are really neat. Ermine soldiers, I wonder what manner of creature Erriz is and how he commands his troops being a soft-spoken, humbly attired creature.

Make sure that you keep an eye on the spacing, or else all the lines get jumbled together in one huge paragraph.

Note: You might want to spell out "2" and that sentence "you might say that that is quite impossible" is a little awkward with the two thats in a row. Easy mistake to make though. Maybe something like: You might say that it would seem quite impossible.

KIC! (Keep it coming) and KIU! (Keep it up)

And shameless plug: If you have any free time, check out my story From the South