User blog comment:NoxTheFerocious/Nox the Ferocious/@comment-2207385-20111006161706

hmmm looks quite interesting!!! I like the description of scenery, although you might wanna describe what the characters wear in more detail. Here's a tip, when creating stories, try to seperate your paragraphs, for example, everytime a characters speaks you make a new one, it keeps things more organized and easier to read, hope this helps and keep it up!!!