User blog comment:Asria Wildlough/Asria Wildlough/@comment-1630956-20100427215214

Make somthing up. Anything can happen in yore story.

Once again, you need to slow down. They can't just go waltzing through the camp searching for slaves. Also, they kinda seemed to just warp to the ship, slow down and describe how they got on the ship. Discribe the sounds and smells as well as what they saw. LOTS AND LOTS OF DETAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!