User blog comment:Bluefang the Ferret/The sword of gold/@comment-1146641-20100521205213

Critic Holly here. You have a few problems with the tenses here, Blue.

''Potley opened his eyes. After hearing a scream, he knew what happened. Looking out the window bars of the slavehouse, the mouse saw something that made his blood run cold.'' ~Past tense. Same chapter, later on-

A one eyed, evil looking weasel walks over to his bars, pointing at the slaves. ~Present tense.

Mayhaps you need to edit a bit. Still, though, it's good. Is the polecat's name Queen Redstake?