User blog comment:Banannibo/Kyso: A Galedeep's Tale/@comment-4507006-20120731153816

Hmm...moves a bit too fast. Kyso suffered surprisingly little shock. One moment he was grieving his family, the next he is traveling with Marie. You might want to rework this chapter, but keep the plot. It's interesting. Maybe add a little bit more detail into the two beasts' relationship as friends; it seems a bit too rushed.

You know, I also wrote a fanfic just like yours, where all but Finbarr's son (Varza Galedeep) died, but I ditched it after adding an unwanted character. Salem adopted it but is yet to use it.

KIU ;)