User blog comment:Kalm Treeblade/On Leave from Salamandastron/@comment-3474228-20110820044907

Yeah you should work on paragraph formatting. It looks intimidating at first sight since its a massive paragraph, so separate into paragraphs when necessary. Avoid the large blob. And I must agree with Redmight as well, don't rush too much. Give a few paragraphs to introduce the scenery and describe your characters. Anyway, nice first attempt.