User blog comment:SalemtheCruel/A little night music/@comment-1031927-20120328020721

I really enjoyed it. I like your development of the characters, especially how you bring the minor ones into it and don't abandon them. I loved Shawn and his infiltration of the vermin camp, I didn’t see it coming. You handled that nicely. :D Otters beign all sneaky like is a soft spot of mine. I really liked your version of Vilaya's past I think you've fleshed her out very nicely. I was impressed. I like how you made her determined to continue her conquest of Redwall at the start Shieldmaiden: and you slowly eroded her determination, then had her choose and the key word is CHOOSE to stay evil in the end Vilaya was believable, conniving, clever, scary, and a bit sad- just what I like in a villain. it's a definite yes Most of your other Vermin Ocs are pretty awesome, especially the merry undertakers. I think some of the Redwallers could be improved a bit, fleshed out more. I loved the fact that you had vermin bars and hideout. Makes sense, like woodlanders have Redwall, Salamandastron, etc. And the aristocracy was pretty cool too. Interesting that woodlanders wouldn't know about it, it's not like they spend that much time in vermin courts Triggut was a fun character to read. Butcher knife XD I like the dialogue linked to Marie Antoinette AND portal in the same conversation. That was Pure Win. Bloodfang’s a good name for a horde. Didn’t expect Jangus to die. Kind of sad. I liked the prologue. The scene where Ambry confronted Vilaya for Flandor’s sake was touching. I’m glad she died in Jangus’ arms. A few things bugged me- No clocks in Redwall. So 6:30 as a time I a no-go. Seasons VS years The otter holt didn’t react at all to a rat strolling into a holt. Should have been a bit tense at the very least. Slaamandastron was shown as too close to Redwall. Final Portal reference YES The romance in the beginning seems a tad rushed, then it was dropped all together. The “all seemed normal at Redwall” sentence in Chapter one. is both annoying and cliché. I nearly stopped reading right there, I see it so much in pretty much every fanfic. But I didn’t…. and I’m glad I didn’t. Nice work.