User blog comment:AmaidenNamedThymaria/The Clever Tale of Thymaria/@comment-1298206-20110606233339

First, to indent properly, don't use the spacebar. Press enter twice to start a new paragraph. To make something large and bold, such as the name of a chapter put two of these: = before and after the words you want to be large and bold. A name for a ship? How does "The Young Barnacle" sound?

Instead of saying "a woods named Mossflower," you might want to say,"a place known as Mossflower Woods." In the Redwall universe, rat corsairs are known as searats. When you said,"or the lazy crew was to clueless", change the "to" to "too." You might want to describe more on the smell. For example: "The malodorous scent given off by the searat ship smelled like a rotting corpse. No wait, several corpses that had been rotting for a few seasons."

When you said,"I stood their calm," it should be "I stood there calmly" because calm is an adjective and an adjective modifies a noun and stood is a verb. Therefore, it should be changed to an adverb.

Do you need any help with vermin accents? I can help if you want. Example: "Well lookee 'ere! We got ourselves a pretty lil' squirrel, mates. Wot are yew doin' out 'ere all by yorseself, beauty?"

You could combine the sentences together to make them flow more smoothly for when you were describing Sefaunt.

I hope I didn't sound like I don't like it, because I do.