User blog comment:Varkanax39/The Last Champion: A Novel of Redwall (fanfic)/@comment-1427879-20120527225633

The prologue was interesting and it made me wonder what in the world could be so terrible that others had not already tried which was of course answered in Rivan's speech. Though a bad guy, he is almost admirable in his intelligence. I thought that his description was contradictory, fire and ice, but could work as well. At first I thought that the squirrelbabes were going to be two different colors which was why the Redwallers were so alarmed. A few instances of description about the squirrels were confusing. I did see one or two grammar and punctuation errors like once when you put Redwalls when it should have been Redwall's. The Dibbuns telling the prophecy was an interesting way to give some of it to the readers. I wonder what will make the girl squirrel ever think of joining the Rivan's side as the prophecy suggests. Captured like Deyna perhaps? Though the moles' accents are nice, are you going to give the otters accents? And I want to hear more about Rivan's mole alliances that Icecloak mentioned. Ravin's hypnotic ability adds an extra level of craftiness to his character; I hope he didn't learn too much through Sarrow's burst. I'm glad that they're about to escape. Good job, KIU and update me!