User blog comment:Vitchtherat/the beginning of vitch/@comment-2207385-20110325021426

That was one fast paced intro, which was cool. Heres a tip when you write a story you can try to write the dialogue of characters seperatly from other paragraphs makes them easier to read, and that way you can emphasize on the action without dialogue getting in the way, and good start!!

Happy storytelling!!