User blog comment:Nightpaw Streamspliter/The Nights Future/@comment-1738724-20100510121036

You have to have made at least four chapters to get the contents. The other mistake is this:

Just then the dark shape showed up and tried to take the bundle that was hid behind the tree.

It should be hidden not hid. You could also try to maybe explain it a little clearer, and try to stop using so much of like, ferret, stoat and rat etc. Try to introduce more vermin characters in the second sentence, like switch a bit of the sentence around a bit. Like this for instance:

''A rat called Mudear called to his two friends running behind him, a stoat and a ferret. "There she goes mate, git 'er!"''

Just a suggestion. Now that I have finished criticizing, I'm just trying to get it better and better, so it will be a great fanfic! KIC mate and update soon!!