User blog comment:Ronnie Macleaf/Freedom Pirates/@comment-1488988-20120218140121

Look, I finally got around to reading another of your stories! xD

The story is well-written -- your description, in particular, is quite good -- and your chapters are getting longer, which is awesome. Also, although there are still a few grammatical errors here and there, your grammar is improving.

On the other hand, the story and characters are quite predictable -- a ship of evil vermin sees Redwall, wants to plunder it, another ship is following that one, wanting revenge, two young beasts go out for a walk in the forest, get captured, etcetra etcetra etcetra. Maybe you could put in a plot twist somewhere? Or at least develop the characters more so that they don't all seem like Mary Sues/Gary Stues.

Another small thing I noticed is that you sometimes spell Sophie's name "Sofie." You should be consistent; otherwise, it might get confusing.

Oh, by the way, the humor in this is not bad at all. I particularly liked the bit with the cake and with the "trees, trees, more trees, and did I mention trees?"

Keep writing! :)