User blog comment:Brockfang/On the Knife's Edge/@comment-1031927-20100402022840

Rushed prologue. empty crate? Wouldn't they have noitced the lack of wieght? Weapons are made of metal after all. Short POV changes. Choppy sentences, redundant phrasing, grief scenes move on too quickly.

I love your villain and your names. The plot's good too.